Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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