She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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