She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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