An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
