i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
