this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
