those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
