Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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