well you can't waste a boner
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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