Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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