we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
