i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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