thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize