idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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