SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
