the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
nutella sex= disaster
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
