I was born with a shot glass in my hand
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
