Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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