We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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