ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
did you just send me my own nude
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize