That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
