she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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