What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
