Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
