Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
