Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize