I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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