I never want to see another naked old woman again.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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