I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
