I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
