I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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