That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
