(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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