How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
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