i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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