what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
