didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize