I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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