I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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