He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
