i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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