you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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