You just made me feel so damn special
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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