He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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