I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
