im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
