so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
