I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
