Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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