Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
