Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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