I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
