We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
