How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
