We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize