I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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