I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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