i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
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