i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
