Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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