I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize