i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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