i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
pray to the hookup gods
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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