oh god the rape fog is back!
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
