She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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