My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
