When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
