On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
no, he came in my armpit
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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