Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
