he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
